Moving Across Oceans and States: Embracing Change
When Bill and I first set our sights on New England, I knew we were embracing more than a change of scenery. We were uprooting the life we had built in Hawaii—my canoe club friendships, children’s routines, and familiar faces—and planting ourselves into unfamiliar terrain: a cramped Lowell duplex in chilly November. As I raced across the ocean to Oahu for my final canoe race, I had no idea how that final paddle would mark both an ending and a beginning. In this post, I share the awkward dinners, improvised bunk beds, cross-country moves and unexpected joys that taught me how to nurture family bonds and forge routines when starting over.
From Hawaiian Shores to New England’s Lobster Lessons
I still cringe when I remember my first New England dinner with Bill’s extended family. Proudly independent, I refused Bill’s help cracking the lobster, only to discover later that it was harder than I thought. The events that followed— a quick trip to Boston, a funeral for Bill’s mother, and my first payroll job at Hualalai—shaped our transition. During that summer, I managed to settle into my new HR position while also preparing to battle the waves in the Molokai-to-Oahu canoe race, which marked my last competitive paddling event in Hawaii. At the same time, I was bracing myself for the uncertain changes awaiting me on the mainland.
Building Home: Duplex Life and Family Milestones
We moved into a Lowell duplex that Bill co-owned, its walls echoing our packing boxes and nervous laughter. While I enrolled Tiare and Robbie in a new school, Bill transformed bare floors into family spaces. He had built a bunk bed for Robbie before we arrived, crafted a dollhouse for Tiare’s vivid imagination and assembled an entertainment center where we’d gather for movie nights. We learned how to manage wild neighbors and irritable tenants, realizing that a home is something we create for ourselves rather than just take for granted.
Snowflakes, Field Trips and a Rye Beach Wedding
Winter in New England arrived with secret thrills. Snowball fights in the White Mountains became Robbie’s first taste of powder, while Tiare marveled at the history at Faneuil Hall in Boston. Amid frozen mornings and fogged car windows, Bill proposed at Christmas and we chose Rye Beach for a small September 1997 ceremony. We laughed over lost rings, hastily chosen readings and the shoe-game that had everyone cheering. Bill’s brother Kevin delivered a heartfelt toast, and we capped the weekend with a campfire lobster boil under starry skies—a tradition entirely new to us, but one that warmly welcomed us into the spirit and flavors of our New England home.
Londonderry Living and Welcoming Baby Catie
By November 1998, we decided to sell the duplex because of its constant creaks and the tenants, moving instead to a spacious colonial in Londonderry. There, Robbie was able to make new friends and settle into a school where he felt comfortable. Tiare transitioned from being a travel-soccer star to co-captain of her middle-school cheer squad, impressing everyone with her fearless routines at pep rallies. One memorable Labor Day pool party brought together all six of Bill’s brothers and cousins, their laughter mingling with the sounds of summer. The biggest surprise of all came next—my unexpected pregnancy. We transformed the attic into a stylish hangout space for Tiare, decorating the vaulted walls with sky blue paint and clouds. At the same time, the soft pink bedroom remained as a soothing place for baby Catie's gentle arrival.
Further Moves: California, Oregon and Family Resilience
Our New England chapter closed when Bill’s drywall business promotion took us to El Dorado Hills, California. Tiare, ever social, made fast friends and tried out for the high-school cheer squad—then switched to soccer when cheer fell short of her spark. I stepped onto the field as co-coach when no one else volunteered. Robbie kept playing soccer but had difficulty finding friends he felt comfortable with. Catie tried preschool, but preferred being at home with me. We navigated mishaps—Robbie was once left behind at a restaurant; there was drywall damage after Tiare hosted an unauthorized party and a video camera was stolen. In 2004, Bill’s promotion to president of Structus brought us to Bend, Oregon. Though Tiare initially resisted, she soon thrived at Mountain View High School; Robbie, relieved to leave behind bullying in California, began to regain his confidence; and Catie enjoyed her Montessori just across the street. One spring evening, I shared the full story of my divorce from their father—who struggled with addiction and dishonesty. Unaware that he had already spoken with the kids about his struggles, I overlooked how angry Tiare was with him. I hoped that, as with every challenge we've faced, honesty would help strengthen our family bonds.
Conclusion
Starting over—from Hawaii’s warm beaches to New England’s frosty streets, then across California and up to Oregon—taught me that routines and rituals anchor a family through chaos. I learned to say yes to help, however small; to build bunk beds and shared spaces that invite connection; and to embrace missteps as stories we’ll laugh about later. Whether it’s a campfire lobster boil under chilly stars or a hastily painted teen bedroom in an attic, these moments form the glue of our blended life. If you’re beginning again in unfamiliar places, remember: home is not a location but the love you carry and the traditions you create together.
